I prayed for this

Prayed for 12 times.


Where do I begin, what do you do when you feel alone and that no one wants you. I have been interested in a couple of different people but seems as though they were not interested in me. I have been following Christ for sometime and have been faithful in all that I do but does not seem even good enough for Him; I am always wondering what am I doing wrong, why does He not love me, why am I not good enough for anyone and I do mean anyone. I cry myself to sleep wondering if I will ever meet anyone as it seems as though it is NEVER going to happen and I MEAN NEVER. Also, I have done some online dating and met someone whom I have really made a connection (since July 8) with but am having a hard time trusting him, he seems to good to be true and when I asked a friend about their take on how I'm feeling they said that I was hurt very deeply and that I don't want to be hurt and that maybe he is who he says he is and that he truly does care about me. All of that is so true, I keep pushing him away as I'm having a hard time trusting him and don't feel that he is who he says that he is, problem is that my heart is in it and I don't want to let go and be hurt again as it didn't feel good the first time. And, I need to ask forgiveness as I have also let myself be attracted to a married man and have pushed the boundaries in that to the point that I feel terrible for having crossed a boundary that I didn't want to cross. Life is hard and it's even harder when everything is so convoluted and you pray and pray, write your thoughts out, and scream out loud while crying hoping that it helps you to feel better and it never does.

Received: October 12, 2021

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